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Overcome your Fear of Child Birth
Can’t stop fretting about your upcoming labor? Here’s how to put your fear of child birth to rest.
by: Nancy Ripton
Child Birth Fears
- Women who suffer from fear of childbirth during pregnancy are at an increased risk of having an emergency C-section or vaginal delivery involving vacuums or other instruments.
- What your mother says about childbirth and her attitude may influence your own feelings toward delivery.
- It's important to find out whether your own birth was difficult because it can have an effect on your subconscious.
- The more you learn about what to expect during delivery, the better you will feel about it.
- The most important step in easing childbirth fears is to surround yourself with a positive support network.
hen you think about childbirth, chances are the word "pain" is one of the first that comes to mind. While it's normal to feel a little apprehensive as you near the end of your pregnancy, some women can experience intense fear that makes them dread delivery and could actually affect their labor.
A U.K.-based study found that women who suffer from fear of childbirth during pregnancy have an increased rate of emergency Caesarean sections or more complicated vaginal deliveries involving vacuums or other instruments. A Swedish study found that pregnant women with intense fear of giving birth run a considerable risk of negative experiences during labor and increased feelings of dissatisfaction after childbirth. If you're filled with dread over your impending delivery day, here are some ways to overcome your fears.
You don't have to relive your mom's experience
Our fears of childbirth may be a result of our mothers' own unresolved frightening experience. "What your mother says about childbirth and her attitude will influence your feelings," says Dr. Thomas Verny, founder of the Association for Pre- & Perinatal Psychology and Health (APPPAH). "If your mom says: ‘You almost killed me when you were born;' those old tapes will start playing in your mind." It's important to realize there is no relationship between your mother's birthing experience and your own. "Just because your mom had a difficult child birth, doesn't mean the same will be true for you," says Verny.Address buried memories
If your own birth was difficult, or there were worrisome circumstances surrounding your delivery, it can have an effect on your subconscious. "Just because you don't remember your birth, doesn't mean it isn't a factor," says Dr. Verny. Talk to your family about your birthing experiences. "The unconscious is always more powerful than the conscious," says Dr. Verny. Once you know where your fears lie, it will be much easier to tackle and overcome them.Resolve worries about your new role
Are you frightened by the prospect of becoming a mom? If so, you may be expressing your parenting fears in a more physical form. In Western society, fear of pain is a culturally acceptable way of expressing something more complex. Be honest with yourself about your upcoming parenthood and tackle your fears head on. Attend parenting classes and read books to prepare yourself for becoming a mom. Dr. Verny emphasizes that it's important to choose avenues that empower you rather than making you more afraid, so be wary of Internet sites that promote fear over comfort.Research your options
Discuss and clarify any concerns you might have at your prenatal visits. Learn about different birthing options and methods of pain control. Approach childbirth the same way you would a test–if you know what material is to be covered, you have a better chance of doing well than if you're unprepared. Look into psychosocial support networks, such as childbirth classes, midwives and doulas.
Also, learn about intravenous sedation and regional anesthesia options to find out what will be best for you. There are a lot of rumors out there–especially when it comes to epidurals. Learning that epidural is a low-risk procedure that can actually shorten your active labor may help to put your mind at ease. The more you learn about what to expect during delivery, the better you will feel about it.
Surround yourself with support
The most important step in easing childbirth fears is to surround yourself with a positive support network. A recent study in Obstetrics and Gynecology found women who were in a partnership of more than five years were less likely to fear childbirth. But there are many other places to seek out support. Steve Schklar, a certified group psychotherapist, recommends looking for a support group, seeking out a midwife or doula, talking to friends and family and finding a sympathetic physician.
Your relationship with your doctor is essential to putting your mind at ease. Pay attention to the way your doctor speaks to you. "Saying things like: ‘The moment it becomes painful, I will give you a sedative,' is actually very harmful," says Dr. Verny. "The doctor is confirming that birth will be so painful that you will need to be sedated." A good doctor should be comforting, informative and non-fear promoting.
It also helps not to go to the doctor alone. "Always have someone at the prenatal visit with you who you trust," says Dr. Verny. You may turn to your partner, a friend, a doula or a midwife but, whoever it is, it will make it easier than trying to approach pregnancy and delivery on your own. Although there are many reasons that could be behind your apprehension, personal support is the best way to put your fears at ease.
Meet our experts:
Thomas R. Verny, M.D., D. Psych., FRCPC is one of the world's leading authorities on the effect of prenatal and early postnatal environment on personality development. He is the founder of the Association for Pre- & Perinatal Psychology and Health (APPPAH) and served as its president for eight years. Dr. Verny is the author of 10 books, including international bestseller The Secret Life of the Unborn Child and his most recent book Pre-Parenting: Nurturing your Child from Conception (Simon & Schuster, 2003). To learn more about Dr. Verny, go to trvernymd.com
Steve Schklar is a certified group psychotherapist and clinical member and past president of the Ontario Society for Psychotherapy. You can learn more about his practice at psychotherapytoronto.com
